Monday, October 3, 2011

You know you have been slapped when...

You know you have been slapped in the face when:

1) Instead of being appreciated for the favor you have done, the "favoree" proceeds to point out the flaws in this favor.

2) You boss cuts your paycheck/salary/hours or fires your pretty assistant.

3) Your significant other doesn't bring your favorite food/beverage from the store because they are still mad about you ogling over some beautiful girl in the restaurant the other day. You were probably literally slapped as well.

4) Life gives you lemons and when you cut the lemons, it's actually genetically engineered onions which look like lemons. You drown in your own tears...perhaps out of sorrow also.

5) The $25 fix it ticket that you got from the motorcycle cop could have been easily avoided, had you listened to the two ladies who frantically called you aside to point out your broken brake light, while you were at the local library to drop your books off. You had simply thanked them for their gesture while completely ignoring to fix this minor issue. You also commented to your friend in the car how weird the two ladies were, that they were so flustered about such a silly thing. A couple of hours of your life have now vanished in dealing with the ticket. Perhaps one of those ladies was related to the motorcycle cop, a point to be noted and investigated (as if...).

6) Life handed you lemons. You made lemonade. The lemonade got promptly spilled and the knife that you used to cut the lemon with also scratched your thumb. You were somewhat happy that you did not fare worse. However, the blood that was spilled frightened your lemonade making colleague who fainted. You thought it ironic that he wanted to be a medical doctor. Then again, maybe he just wanted to be a dermatologist.

7) You are in the Himalayas and the helicopter that was supposed to pick you up at the summit was too full to pick you up. The sparrow in the cockpit also took a dump, right on your goggles.

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