After a hiatus of nearly a quarter of a year, I made my way to a tavern with a dear friend (not a romantic association). Our primary purpose was food yet my friend, Laire, really wanted to go to this place which was primarily a bar. She wanted to show me the "tapas". I had never tried tapas and have always been intrigued by new types of food. We went.
My hiatus had completely unhinged my sensibilities about a bar. I suspect, as much as the hiatus, my own change in perception was a condition for my unhinged sensibility. The crowd and the general feeling of dissatisfaction, the showing of ruffled feathers veiled in cotton, silk, polyester, vinyl and leather coverings all started to unfold right before my eyes. The change in perception came because of my continued experiment with meditation, "primal" foods, exercises and constant feeding of nutritious information for the mind. That much is undeniable.What disturbed me most was the magnified emptiness I felt. It was a cold watering hole, devoid of love and filled of want.
Laire's company was the only shining light in this dim, light-less conceptual offering. This bar, a watering hole, in the midst of uncountable other watering holes filled a deep hole in the dissatisfied and dishonest parade.
Our primary purpose of an enjoyable meal was fulfilled by the gentle and caring bartenders. I thank them for filling our empty stomachs with such delights in the midst of the confusion and chaos.
However, with my current bearing and change in perception in mind, I will refuse to partake in any such endeavors**. I will waver from my refusal if I am facing a calamity of grave proportions or if a company insists that we have to go, to which I will grudgingly go so as to not ruin the occasion for us.
Instead, I will invite the liaison to my abode and I will prepare a nutritious meal and share memories of the days yonder. I will invite the liaison to a seat and we will play games of hide and seek and face the reality of life. The reality of our condition. And not hide from it in the bleak watering hole.
But I can not partake in the watering hole anymore. I was never a loyal customer of any in the past. Nor have I ever truly delighted to be in such a setting. This refusal did not stem directly from any active disdain of the watering hole. It is the seeking of a different end that drives me rather than this dimming reflection of the moon's rays. This different end is not the watering hole. This different end consists of an honest reflection, a clearer understanding and a shining light, far from the watering hole.
*names have been changed for this semi-fictional biography
** Thoughts may change on this matter without notice and with the right company and the right watering hole.